It’s Hard for Me to Say I’m Sorry: LHOP inspired fan fiction by Cheryl C. Malandrinos

It’s Hard for Me to Say I’m Sorry

LHOP inspired fan fiction by Cheryl C. Malandrinos 

Disclaimer: I do not own the Little House on the Prairie television series, book series, or any of the characters. 

 

Laura felt ashamed.  All Manly tried to do was show enthusiasm over wanting children, and she had blasted him. Terse words flew from her mouth, reminding him she wanted to teach two more years before they started a family. 

 It bothered Laura all day long, but the intense guilt crippled her attempts at apologizing.  Almanzo had been busy anyway.  They were preparing for the arrival of Almanzo’s older brother Royal and his family who were stopping in Walnut Grove for a short visit before leaving on a holiday. 

“Honey, I’m home.”  She heard her husband’s voice through the house.

“Up here,” she shouted back.

Almanzo’s boots thumped up the stairs.  “Still cleaning?” he asked as he entered.

 "I’m almost done.  Did you get everything we need from the Mercantile?”

“Yeah.  We’re all set."

“Good.  I think I’ll make an extra apple pie and some biscuits tonight.”

 Laura’s feet left the floor as Almanzo scooped her up in his arms.  “I love your apple pie,” he said, kissing her tenderly.

"It’s not for you.  It’s for Royal and Millie.”

 Almanzo’s lips brushed against hers. “Can't I have some now?”

She pushed him away.  “You’re impossible.  Now get out of here and let me get my work done.”

 He shuffled out of the room like a naughty child who had been scolded, his head hung low.  He glanced back at Laura with sad eyes. Great, now I feel even worse, she said to herself.

 Almanzo went to bed before her. Supper had been a silent affair and Laura’s pangs of guilt tugged at her heart. Why didn’t she just apologize and get it over with?

 She turned down the lamps in the parlor and wandered upstairs. Almanzo sat in bed reading the newspaper. He looked up for a moment, but said nothing. She unrolled her hair and brushed it out, looking through her mirror every few seconds to see if he was watching her. She snuck behind the screen to change into her nightgown and sighed before slipping under the sheets next to her husband.

 Thinking a book might calm her mind she picked one off the nightstand. After a few seconds she slammed it down on the quilt.  "Oh for goodness' sake!”

“What’s wrong?” asked Almanzo.

 “Me, that’s what’s wrong.”  A look of confusion clear on is face, Laura took his hand in hers. “I’m sorry about this morning. I never should have spoken to you that way. I know you want children, but I…”

 Almanzo put a finger up to her lips. “I’m the one who should be sorry.  I know how you feel about it.  I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

 Now she felt horrible--not only did he understand, he took the blame. “I appreciate that Manly, but I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.  It’s just that I worked really hard for my teaching certificate, and I want to get some use out of it.”

 “The extra money doesn’t hurt either.” 

Laura nodded. “There is one other thing. I know it’s silly and selfish, but I…I like it being just the two of us. Now that I’m married, I can’t imagine how Ma and Pa managed to get any privacy.  One of us was always running to them with our problems.”  A huge sigh escaped from her lips.  “I’m not sure I’m ready to share you yet.” 

Lowering her head, she feared what he might think of her.  Almanzo rolled onto his side and snuggled in close. Lifting her chin he gazed into her big brown eyes and smiled the crooked smile that always melted her heart.

“You know, that’s kind of how I feel about your teaching. It’s like I have to share you with a bunch of kids and their parents all the time. Each night you grade papers and plan lessons. Sometimes, I come home and just want to kiss you, but there’s a student at our kitchen table and I have to behave.”

 Laura’s eyes widened. “Really?” He nodded. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because, like you said, it's selfish. I want you all to myself once you're home.”

She never realized how it must be for him. Laura leaned over and peeked his cheek. "I want you all to myself, too," she teased.  

Almanzo grinned. "I'll always be yours."

She giggled. Now that the issue between them was settled, she would reschedule her tutoring for tomorrow so that she could spend more time with him tomorrow evening. Maybe they could have an early supper and go for a short ride by the lake. She snuggled into the sheets once he turned down the lamp.

The night flowed through to the next morning. Laura rolled over and saw Almanzo sleeping soundly.  She stared at him for a few moments, his wavy blond hair catching the first glints of sunlight peeking through the curtains. She knew one day their house would be filled with the laughter of children, but for now she was content with listening to his steady breathing and knowing he belonged only to her.

Copyright Cheryl C. Malandrinos - All Rights Reserved.