It’s Hard for Me to Say I’m Sorry
LHOP inspired fan
fiction by Cheryl C. Malandrinos
Disclaimer: I do not own the
Little House on the Prairie television series, book series, or any of the
characters.
Laura felt
ashamed. All Manly tried to do was show
enthusiasm over wanting children, and she had blasted him. Terse words flew from her mouth, reminding
him she wanted to teach two more years before they started a family.
It bothered
Laura all day long, but the intense guilt crippled her attempts at apologizing. Almanzo had been busy anyway. They were preparing for the arrival of
Almanzo’s older brother Royal and his family who were stopping in Walnut Grove
for a short visit before leaving on a holiday.
“Honey, I’m
home.” She heard her husband’s voice
through the house.
“Up here,”
she shouted back.
Almanzo’s
boots thumped up the stairs. “Still
cleaning?” he asked as he entered.
"I’m almost
done. Did you get everything we need
from the Mercantile?”
“Yeah. We’re all set."
“Good. I think I’ll make an extra apple pie and some
biscuits tonight.”
Laura’s
feet left the floor as Almanzo scooped her up in his arms. “I love your apple pie,” he said, kissing her
tenderly.
"It’s not
for you. It’s for Royal and Millie.”
Almanzo’s
lips brushed against hers. “Can't I have some now?”
She pushed
him away. “You’re impossible. Now get out of here and let me get my work
done.”
He shuffled
out of the room like a naughty child who had been scolded, his head hung
low. He glanced back at Laura with sad
eyes. Great, now I feel even worse, she said to herself.
Almanzo
went to bed before her. Supper had been
a silent affair and Laura’s pangs of guilt tugged at her heart. Why didn’t she just apologize and get it over
with?
She turned down the lamps in the parlor and wandered upstairs. Almanzo sat in bed reading the newspaper. He looked up for a moment, but said
nothing. She unrolled her hair and
brushed it out, looking through her mirror every few seconds to see if
he was watching her. She snuck behind
the screen to change into her nightgown and sighed before slipping under the
sheets next to her husband.
Thinking a
book might calm her mind she picked one off the nightstand. After a few seconds she slammed it down on
the quilt. "Oh for goodness' sake!”
“What’s
wrong?” asked Almanzo.
“Me, that’s
what’s wrong.” A look of confusion clear
on is face, Laura took his hand in hers. “I’m sorry about this morning. I
never should have spoken to you that way. I know you want children, but I…”
Almanzo put
a finger up to her lips. “I’m the one
who should be sorry. I know how you feel
about it. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
Now she
felt horrible--not only did he understand, he took the blame. “I appreciate that Manly, but I shouldn’t
have gotten so angry. It’s just that I
worked really hard for my teaching certificate, and I want to get some use out
of it.”
“The extra
money doesn’t hurt either.”
Laura
nodded. “There is one other thing. I know it’s silly and selfish, but I…I like
it being just the two of us. Now that
I’m married, I can’t imagine how Ma and Pa managed to get any privacy. One of us was always running to them with our
problems.” A huge sigh escaped from her
lips. “I’m not sure I’m ready to share
you yet.”
Lowering her head, she feared what he might think of her. Almanzo rolled onto his side and snuggled in
close. Lifting her chin he gazed into
her big brown eyes and smiled the crooked smile that always melted her heart.
“You know,
that’s kind of how I feel about your teaching. It’s like I have to share you with a bunch of kids and their parents all
the time. Each night you grade papers and
plan lessons. Sometimes, I come home and
just want to kiss you, but there’s a student at our kitchen table and I have to behave.”
Laura’s
eyes widened. “Really?” He nodded. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Because, like you said, it's selfish. I want you all to myself once you're home.”
She never realized how it must be for him. Laura leaned over and peeked his cheek. "I want you all to myself, too," she teased.
Almanzo grinned. "I'll always be yours."
She giggled. Now that the issue between them was settled, she would reschedule her tutoring for tomorrow so that she could spend more time with him tomorrow evening. Maybe they could have an early supper and go for a short ride by the lake. She snuggled into the sheets once he turned down the lamp.
The night
flowed through to the next morning. Laura rolled over and saw Almanzo sleeping soundly. She stared at him for a few moments, his wavy
blond hair catching the first glints of sunlight peeking through the
curtains. She knew one day their house
would be filled with the laughter of children, but for now she was content with
listening to his steady breathing and knowing he belonged only to her.
Copyright Cheryl C. Malandrinos - All Rights Reserved.
